Randoms ...

Things have been rather uneventful in our home lately.

Unless of course you count the other night when Bruce Lee took off his pull up and shouted "I'm nake ... I'm nake" at the top of his lungs. And, because we were watching "Camp Rock" ... yes, we have a seven year old in the house ... Bruce Lee decided to join in the "final jam" by using his pee-pee as a guitar.

Yup.

As he wailed away on his "guitar" he kept saying "I play my guitar Mommy. I play my guitar Daddy."

He even had the power stance down pat.

And ...

I fell UP the stairs at the subway station yesterday. (Which obviously didn't happen in our home, but still, worth a mention I think.) UP the stairs. In front of lots of people. It was rush hour. Awesome.

I blame the flip flops.

Another noteworthy happenstance ... at the doctors office yesterday I had to have some tests done. The usual things. Pee in a cup. Give some blood. You know, all those fun things.

The peeing in a cup test is never good. And yesterday was no exception. I won't go into details or anything but I will say that I really hope they mop the floors of the washrooms every day. Enough said.

When it came time to give blood I told the woman with the giant needle that I was really hungry and that I might pass out. She laughed. She obviously didn't believe me. So I just closed my eyes and focused on breathing while she removed eight gallons of my blood.

I didn't faint.

But when I got up to leave I did take the chair with me. As in, my big hips were stuck in the stupid chair and it was stuck to me and came with me as I tried to leave. (In my defense the chair wasn't a normal armchair. It was a "giving blood" armchair with the arms both angled inwards thereby leaving little room for a normal sized person to get in and out. In retrospect I do remember entering the chair sideways. I was not thinking clearly - clearly - as I exited the chair, probably due to the eight gallons of blood I'd just lost, and all the concentrating on not fainting.)

I left as quickly as possible after removing the chair from my back end ... all the laughing was not good for my self esteem.

And because that's basically it for the past few weeks I thought I'd share with you some jokes that Jackie Chan made up.

Most of his jokes are quite lame and cause a dull ache in that part of your brain that's supposed to be reserved for feigning interest in things like articles in the New Yorker, and Quantum Physics, but these two are rather amusing ...

Question: What does it feel like to get bit by a T-Rex?

Answer: CRAP

And my new favorite:

Question: What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?

Answer: A stick

Question: What do you call a boomerang that does work?

Answer: A boomerang

I'm not totally convinced that the boomerang joke is an original.