Ask Tina Fey ... she knows ...

Every once and a while a movie comes along and I think as I watch it that is totally me ... this movie is about me.

It was like that with "Girl, Interrupted".  Back when I was a little crazy.

There are others of course ... but ... well ... I'll just leave it at there are others ...

Curtis and I watched "Date Night" the other night (for a date night ...) and the entire time we just kept looking at each other and thinking ... this is totally us.

From the mouth guard, to drawers being left open (in our house it's doors), to being too tired to actually want to go out for the night without the kids, to doing the same thing every time we DO actually go out ... right down to the names of the kids ... the boys name was Oliver, the girls name was Charlotte.  The very two names we've chosen for baby number three ...

I know ... weird, right?

Even Tina Fey's meltdown in the car scene where she confesses that she sometimes she fantasises about being alone.  I've totally had that fantasy. 

(And let me just pause here a moment to sing Tina Fey's praises.  I think she is beautiful AND hilarious and just so no one is confused, I'm not saying I'm like Tina Fey ... I'm not that conceited ... only that while watching the movie I just kept thinking that her character was totally based on my life.)

I no longer fantasise about finding myself accidentally locked in a bakery overnight with Johnny Depp ... I fantasise about having a quiet room all to myself.  With a big bed.  And a TV where I control the channels and no sports or sports news shows are on.  Ever.

Where I could shower for forty-five minutes or even an hour with no interruptions or thoughts of children laying underneath a large piece of overturned furniture. 

Or read a book and get through a paragraph without having to find a toy or get a glass of water.

Or be able to sit in silence and not talk.  Or listen.  Or have to plan dinner.

I was watching Tina Fey thinking you are so right ON.

So of course I said something about how right on she was.

And hurt my husbands feelings.

And felt like a jerk.

So I had to explain all about how I just got what she was saying about needing time and space and that I knew exactly what it felt like to work all day in a crazy office and then come home to plan and make and clean up dinner and bathe the kids and then get them in bed and then do the laundry and then tidy the house a bit ... and then have energy to talk and be there for him ...

And then, just like in the movie, he said "I try to help."

It's true.  He does.  And I find it hard to let him help.  It's easier for me to just do it myself.

And when I do let him help I'm totally just waiting for him to screw up so I can jump in and say "fine, I'll just do it myself."

I am a horrible person.

He is an excellent husband and an excellent father and I need to make sure he knows that ...

So ... I'm sorry baby ... tonight you can totally do the dishes and the laundry and clean the bathrooms and I'll just sit back and read my book.  I'll let you help.  And I totally won't even look in the cups to make sure all the milk crusties are gone.

I love you that much.