It reminded me of a moment with Jackie Chan not too long ago.
On the way home from school one day in June Jackie Chan stopped suddenly on the sidewalk and looked at me and said, rather sadly, "Mommy, I have never had a Jumbo Freezie EVER. In my whole life. I've never had one and I really, really want one."
I didn't feel it would be right of me to point out that this wasn't a huge deal given that his "whole life" was only eight years ... that would have been harsh of me. So, instead, I simply said, somewhat sarcastically, "hmmmm ... well perhaps one day you can have a Jumbo Freezie and then your life will be complete."
He responded with great enthusiasm, "Really???? I love you Mommy. You are the best Mommy ever!"
I had apparently underestimated his desire and longing for a Jumbo Freezie.
And in that moment I totally got where he was coming from. I had once wanted something SO BADLY that nothing else mattered.
It was a Cabbage Patch Kid ...
It was 1983 (I think) and The Bay in downtown Toronto had every window filled with "real" nurseries for Cabbage Patch Kids. There were "real" nurses rocking the dolls and cribs and change tables. I think there was even a doctor or two. It was magical. Our family walked around looking at all the windows and I was captivated. I wanted a Cabbage Patch Kid more than anything else that Christmas.
I went to bed every night praying to Santa Claus (probably my first mistake) that he would bring me a Cabbage Patch Kid. Every night.
And then on Christmas morning I rushed downstairs and searched and searched - because certainly the stuffed Unicorn sitting by the tree couldn't possibly be what Santa had left me because he knew I wanted a Cabbage Patch Kid, I had prayed to him after all - but there was no beautiful little doll with its hard head and soft body and very own birth certificate and signed bum to be found. I was crushed. Crushed.
I don't know if I effectively communicated my disappointment in Santa Claus to my parents or not ... perhaps it was written all over my face for the next fifteen years ... I don't know ... truth be told I'm still not over the disappointment - clearly. And finding out that Santa Claus was not real, and therefore obviously not the one to blame, didn't help my trauma. Probably increased it.
And I'm not convinced any valuable lesson was learned on my part from NOT getting a Cabbage Patch Kid that year. Would I have been a spoiled brat if after seeing the glorious Christmas windows with the real nurses and real cribs and wonderful trendy dolls that lit up my eyes and warmed my heart my parents had turned around and indulged my one and only wish by giving me one that year, signed ... Love Santa?????
I don't think so.
Would I have demanded the trendiest gift every year forcing my parents to face years and years of stress obtaining the perfect gift and driving them into debt in doing so?
I don't think so.
After all, I didn't pray night after night to Santa for a Tickle Me Elmo ...
I'm not unreasonable.
I just really loved Cabbage Patch Kids and wanted one for my very own.
But the past is the past and we must move on.
So ... I will not indulge my children every time they have a wish or a fancy for some passing trend. But if a Jumbo Freezie means so much to Jackie Chan that he practically looses his mind over the thought of actually getting to eat one sometime in his life ... well ... that might be something I choose to buy for him.
And ... Mom and Dad ... I forgive you.
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