And the pitch ... snore ...

My husband loves sports.  He loves playing sports and he loves watching sports.

And he loves watching sports highlights ... something I just don't get.

I try to get it.  I've tried really hard to watch and be interested and come up with some kind of thoughtful response when he excitedly tells me about some guy on some team doing something he shouldn't have, or, a guy on some team doing something something totally fantastic in some game that's potentially going to change the outcome of the season for that particular sport.

I try.  Because I care.  Not about the sports.  I care about my husband.   And I feel it's important to embrace the things he's passionate about.

But usually all I can come up with is "oh yeah ... hmmmmmm ... cool."

Because, the truth is, I just don't get it.

I like watching football - and no, it's not all about the tight pants, but admittedly, that helps - I actually find the game of football exciting and entertaining.  But I sincerely do not enjoy watching other sports.


Especially baseball.

Seriously.

I do NOT like watching baseball.

And baseball highlights kill me.  How many adjectives can there possibly be to describe catching a ball?  Or hitting a ball?  Or throwing a ball?  Really, truly, how many?

Baseball highlights suck the life out of me.  Kinda like Harry Potter when the Dementors got to him on the train to Hogwarts.

So on Saturday we were sitting in the living room as a family after being out at various places all day and we were just taking a moment to chill and relax before getting dinner and Curtis was watching sports highlights.  Mostly baseball.  The kids and I were just kinda sitting in silence ... watching ...

There was a guy being interviewed about something or other and Curtis said, "hey, do you know what's totally painful?"  (It was obvious to me he was about to comment on the interview that was currently droning away on the TV.)

And Jackie Chan - without missing a beat - said "Yeah, sports highlights."

Fantastic.

Out of the mouths of babes ...

(PS - I must take a moment to apologize to my husband for my terrible attitude on Sunday regarding his desire to watch football - namely the Patriots.  They were playing on Sunday and the game was on TV and apparently this was a really big deal because Patriots games are not shown often on Canadian TV ... at least on the channels we have.  I was a big jerk and made a fuss about him watching football.  He is a GREAT Dad and a GREAT husband who rarely zones out to watch sports when there are children to play with and/or a wife to spend time with.  I'm very fortunate that way. So ... early Christmas present ... we're going to order the Super Sport Pack with Rogers ...)

Shut up and act like everyone else ... oh, and remember you're special and unique ... ...

Let me begin this post by stating that I do not have a problem with public schools.

My parents were teachers (and principal) in the public school system, I have many other relatives and friends who currently teach in the public school system.  I understand the difficulty that teachers face trying to get through specific curriculum in a certain period of time with challenges in the classroom such as behavioral issues, children who consider English their second or even third language, parents who are ready to attack at any given moment, large classroom sizes ... the list goes on, I'm sure.

So ... I try to be supportive of every teacher that I have the privilege of dealing with and every teacher who is in an educator relationship with my child.

Jackie Chan is now in Grade 3.

It's a difficult year.  It's a "get serious" year.  In Grade 3 students have to write the EQAO (Education Quality and Accountability Office) tests.

Students have to demonstrate at the end of Grade 3 what they've learned throughout the Primary Grades by writing these "tests" - I imagine it's stressful for students, teachers, and parents alike.

Jackie Chan is in Grade 3 and it's a whole new ballgame.

Last year we LOVED his teacher.  She was a wonderful, free spirited, gifted teacher who loved children and respected each child as an individual and recognized that each child learns differently.  She encouraged children in her classroom to be themselves and fostered an environment of fun while maintaining respect between the students and her position of authority.

Obviously the scenario wasn't perfect and there were certainly some flaws within the classroom ... but it was  year where Jackie Chan learned to love school and learned to love learning.

We've spent the first three weeks of this school year receiving numerous phone calls from Jackie Chan's current teacher asking us to please speak to him about staying in his desk and respecting the other students by remaining quiet and not moving around.  We also had a phone call where she asked us to speak to him about the fact that he called her "Hunny Bunny" ....

Yeah, admittedly the "Hunny Bunny" - while seriously hilarious - was quite out of line.  We had to explain to him the severe legalities of such a statement.

I've been trying to wrap my head around these "problems" he's been having since day one.

Jackie Chan talks to much - yes.

Jackie Chan doesn't like to sit still for too long.

Jackie Chan has a very active imagination and loves to tell stories and make people laugh.

These are the "problems" he's having this year.

Last year these qualities were admired and encouraged.  They were embraced.  This year they are cause for him to stay inside during recess.  Multiple times.

I went to curriculum night last night and within a heartbeat of entering the classroom realized why we were receiving so many phone calls ....

The room was bare.  Not a single picture on the walls.  The room was void of all colour.  There was one workstation that contained two black computers and nothing else.  Even the writing on the chalkboard was one colour - white.  And the writing on the paper on the easel was black marker.

No colour.  No life.

I felt my energy sucked out the moment I entered the room.

And my heart sank.

I knew where Jackie Chan's confusion was coming from ... this was not the "school" environment that he loved so much last year.  This was a different teacher with a different agenda entirely.

While she seems kind and I'm sure she wants the best for Jackie Chan, her message last night to all the parents was:

"I will not tolerate chaos in my classroom and chaos includes children getting up from their desks for any reason unless they raise their hands and ask permission."

She also mentioned that they may or may not get around to the physical activity part of the day that is supposed to be integrated into the program because they have so much work to get through in a day it simply may not always be possible.

Jackie Chan is eight years old.  This kind of conflicting message from one school year to the next would confuse even the most sophisticated adult.  At least temporarily.

How to we as parents encourage our child to learn and grow and develop as an individual when he's being told on a daily basis to sit down, shut up and do his work ... end of story.

I've found myself actually saying to him on the way to school:

"Now buddy ... if everyone else in your classroom is sitting down and working, you HAVE to sit down and work and not talk or get up.  It doesn't matter what you want to do.  You are not special.  You do not have special privileges.  You have to be the same as everyone else or you will get in trouble."

WHAT?????

What kind of message is that for an eight year old boy?

But what other choice do we as parents have????  We can't request a transfer every time Jackie Chan is in a classroom with a teacher we feel doesn't encourage his particular style of learning ... or has major issues with colour and pictures.

And we don't have trillions of billions of dollars saved up to send him to some artsy fartsy private school where they would custom tailor his education based on personality and learning styles ...

No ... we're stuck.  He's stuck.

It looks like it could be a very long year.

(It could also explain the various injuries he's had since school began.  I'd throw myself off the jungle gym too if I had to spend an entire day in the classroom of death and boredom.)

School - week two. 

So far so good.  Sort of.

Jackie Chan has injured himself in some way every day since the first day of school (you can read about his first injury in my last post).  He most recently - today - was kicked in the face (accidentally) while playing on the play structure.  Not a big deal unless you count the shoe treads on his cheek.

Earlier in the week he ran into a pole.  Large bump on the head to show for that little mishap.

The following day I received a call from the school office to tell me Luke had smashed his head into a pole. 

Again????

The conversation with Jackie Chan over dinner that night went something like this:

"Honey .... did you run into another pole at school today?"

"Um ... I don't know."

"You don't know?  How can you not know?  The school called and said you bumped your head on a pole."

"OH, that may have been yesterday.  They called yesterday."

"No ... they called today.  Were they confused?  Did you tell them you ran into a pole - which did happen yesterday - and they misunderstood and called me today thinking it had just happened?"

"Oh, yeah, yeah ... it was yesterday.  But they called today."

"Hmmmmm."

Obviously communication is not Jackie Chan's strength at the moment.

Bruce Lee is struggling a bit as well.

We took the boys to an ultra sound on Saturday and they both had a chance to see our growing little baby girl.  They were pretty excited.  It was all very cool.  We saw her tiny feet in 3D.  Cool.

So yesterday morning Bruce Lee looked at me as I was getting him dressed and said "baby Charlotte is coming to Toronto."

I wasn't quite sure I'd heard him correctly ...

"Baby Charlotte is in Mummy's tummy."

"Yes, and she is coming to Toronto soon."

"Ok ... I see.  Good to know.  But you know that she's in my tummy right now, right?"

"Hi baby Charlotte," says Bruce Lee to my right breast, "I'm Elliot.  Hi."

"No, not in there in here," I say pointing to my belly.

"Yes."

And with that whole thing neatly sorted in his little mind he wandered off down the stairs and I was left sitting on his bed, a bit stunned by the whole conversation.

Then a thought occurred to me and I yelled downstairs ... "Hey Bruce Lee, where do we live?"

"TORONTO!"

And Jackie Chan echoed his brother's profound response with our exact address.

 ... so all is not lost ...

In times of chaos, when our family is really busy and going through some big changes - not the least of which is an eight year old who seems to have lost all sense of coordination - it's comforting to know they at least know where "home" is.

School ...

The beginning of the school year is always an exciting time.

It's a time when kids look forward to being back at school - anxious to meet old and new friends.

Jackie Chan spent Monday running around the house looking for his pencil case - long forgotten and shoved under the bed last June.  His lunch box has once again found its place on the kitchen counter where it will remain each night for the next ten months.  (And the frantic panic on Monday night of what to put in the lunch box the next day was indicative of what happens during most of the school year.)

Kids await the newness of a different classroom and a different teacher either with an eagerness bordering on hysteria or with terror.  But, regardless, it seems as though new expectations are carried in on the crisper, cooler air ... like a message of hope of things to come.

On Tuesday morning it felt to me like all the failings of the previous school year - both by we the parents and by Jackie Chan - were long forgiven and forgotten.  And in my eyes, Jackie Chan was starting fresh.  A new school year.

I vowed there would be no battles, no mishaps.

Yesterday on his first day of school he fell down the stairs at last recess and shredded his elbow.  Major cuts and scrapes.  Nasty.

BUT ... he didn't cry.  At ALL.

Good steps, I think.

I was proud of him.

Then this morning we had an epic battle.

An epic battle about "appropriate" gym wear.

It was cold this morning and Jackie Chan was standing in his room (ten minutes after I sent him in to get dressed) in his underwear holding a pair of shorts.  

I explained - calmly, keeping in mind my vow to avoid battles - that shorts were not appropriate for school given the weather and that he should put on pants ...


"But I have gym today."

"What does that have to do with shorts??"


"I have to wear appropriate gym clothes.  I can't wear jeans.  I have to wear something for gym."

"So what, in your mind, is appropriate to wear for gym?"


He throws up his hands, holding the pair of shorts in one hand, and yells, "shorts."

"Shorts may be appropriate for gym, but they are not acceptable to wear to school today because it's too cold outside for shorts.  Are you going to wear shorts when it's thirty three degrees below zero?  Will shorts be appropriate then?  Will the gym teacher take responsibility for you when you are hospitalized for pneumonia? ... who told you what to wear for gym today?"


"No one told me, it was on the board for us to write in our agenda so we would know it was gym and we would know that we had to wear not jeans."

"We would know that we had to wear something other than jeans ... is the appropriate way to say that.  Moving ON .... you need to bring your agenda home so that I know what's going on.  So that I can help you be "appropriate" for gym and class, etc.  Help me HELP you.  And I'm helping you now by telling you that you are not wearing shorts.  You can wear jeans.  If the gym teacher has a problem then I will go and speak to the gym teacher about the in-appropriateness of a teacher telling a child to dress in-adequately for the weather because the child needs to be appropriately dressed for a thirty minute class and isn't allowed time to change before the class begins!!!  Got it?????"

*Tears*

"Seriously.  Jackie Chan.  You didn't cry when you tore the skin off your elbow, but you're crying now? Over shorts?  Why?"


"I don't want to get in trouble.  I need to wear something appropriate for gym.  I can't wear jeans because I need to be able to move.  I can't move in jeans but I can move in shorts.  I don't want to wear jeans and get in trouble."

"Oh my goodness - FINE!  Wear the shorts.  FREEZE.  I don't care!!!!!  Just get dressed.  And when we get to school I will go to the office - on the second day of school - and speak to the principal about what he or she thinks is appropriate gym wear and how I should go about ensuring my child is dressed appropriately for both the weather and gym simultaneously!!!  OK????????"


"OK."

"OK."


"Um Mommy?" 

"Yes?"


"So I should wear shorts????"

"ARRRGGGHHHHHHH!!!"

And so began the second day of school ...

I don't think we'll avoid battles.  Jackie Chan battles because he believes he should stand up for what he feels is right.  I can hardly fault him for that.